in the light of the sun, is there anyone?  oh it has begun ...
oh dear you look so lost, eyes are red and tears are shed,
this world you must've crossed ... you said ....
you dont know me, you dont even care
you dont know me, you dont wear my chains
essential and appealed, carry all your thoughts across an open field,
when flowers gaze at you ... theyre not the only ones who cry when they see you
she said ... i think ill go to boston
i think ill start a new life
i think ill start it over, where no one knows my name
ill get out of california, im tired of the weather
i think ill get a lover and fly him out to spain
i think ill go to boston
i think that im just tired
i think i need a new town, to leave this all behind
i think i need a sunrise, im tired of the sunset
i hear its nice in the summer, some snow would be nice
boston, where no one knows my name

-augustana boston

she looked for passion, inspiration, and reasons wherever she went.  up at the sky.  down in the ground.  even on the starbucks grande cup of steamed peppermint soy she got on the way up to tahoe.  "the irony of commitment is that it is deeply liberating - in work, in play, in love.  the act frees you from the tyranny of your internal critic, from the fear that likes to dress itself up and parade around as rational hesitation.  to commit is to remove your head as the barrier to your life" -annemorriss.  her internal critic was loud.  and tyrannical.  she wasnt able to sit still and commit and just be.  she would get lost in always looking for a way out, finding something better, trying to get away, or fighting for nothing at all.  move here, move there, do this, do that, get away,  go away.  here and now is not good enough.  it would make her tired.  critic needs to shut up.  shut up!

it takes a crane to build a crane
it takes two floors to make a story
it takes an egg to make a hen
it takes a hen to make an egg
there is no end to what im saying
it takes a thought to make a word
and it takes a word to make an action
it takes some work to make it work
it takes some good to make it hurt
it takes some bad for satisfaction
it takes no time to fall in love
but it takes you years to know what love is
and it takes some fears to make you trust
it takes those tears to make it rust
and it takes the dust to have it polished
it takes some silence to make sound
it takes a loss before you found it
and it takes a road to go nowhere
it takes a toll to make you care
it takes a whole to make a mountain

-jasonmraz lifeiswonderful

what did "being enough" even mean?  what does "enough" mean?  reading minds?  extravagant gifts?  all these nebulous concepts strained through and put into cliche terms used like cheap change in argument.  dont show love and appreciation enough.  dont love enough.  dont show gratitude enough.  dont come home enough.  dont give enough.  dont give enough.  dont give enough.  enough enough enough.  the term "being enough" never really existed in her vocabulary.  she was never made to feel like she was enough.  nothing she did was ever enough.  she didnt listen enough.  she wasnt sensitive enough.  she was not a good enough sister or daughter.  she wanted to go to enoughenoughland.  where she would be enough.  is that in new york?   

where is the moment we need it the most
you kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
they tell me your blue skies fade to grey
they tell me your passions gone away
and i dont need no carryin on
you stand in line just to hit a new low
youre faking a smile with the coffee to go
you tell me your lifes been way off line
youre falling to pieces everytime
and i dont need no carryin on
cause you had a bad day
youre taking one down
you sing a sad song just to turn it around
you say you dont know
you tell me dont lie
you work at a smile and you go for the ride
you had a bad day
the camera dont lie
youre coming back down and you really dont mind

-daniel powter bad day

you may tire of me
as our december sun is setting because im not who i used to be
no longer easy on the eyes but these wrinkles masterfully disguise
the youthful boy below who turned your way and saw
something he was not looking for:  both a beginning and an end
but now he lives inside someone he does not recognize
when he catches his reflection on accident
on the back of a motor bike
with your arms outstretched trying to take flight
leaving everything behind
but even at our swiftest speed we couldnt break from the concrete
in the city where we still reside
and i have learned that even landlocked lovers yearn for the sea like navy men
cause now we say goodnight from our own separate sides

-deathcabforcutie likebrothersonahotelbed

she wanted to cry but her eyes were dry.  she wanted to puke but there was nothing in her stomach.  she wanted to sleep but she wasnt tired.  she wanted to scream but she had no voice.  she wanted to run but her knee was busted.  she wanted to pick but there was nothing left to bleed.  she wanted to say i miss you and its overwhelming but theres really no point anymore.  red pills.  green pills.  blue pills.  pink pills. white pills.  effexor.  cymbalta.  lexapro.  prozac.  wellbutrin.  celexa.  meta...  thyrin...  provactin... senno... peri... take a hit.  drink a shot.  go to the east coast for school.  go overseas for peace corps.  anywhere away from herself.  here.  wheres the cure?  whats the fix?  fix the clogged toilet. her toilet seat was always up not because theres a man in the house.

well, in the end, my friend, we will all be together again
clutching onto my hand, in a valley we'll stand, just living again
and in a while we'll smile, march on another mile
on hallowed hills, attached to the land we'll be still
no ones ever gonna say a thing
and we'll be together, together again
taking off to the city on down
just a while ago my soul was confused, amused at what it did not know
days went by, and amusement cried, i decide to let
my soul fly on by itself, pick happiness up and bring it back to the shelf
we'll be ok one day, in this valley we'll stay
no more moving on
i knew it was right here all along

-oar cityondown

she had liked him enough to miss him.  she had been clearheaded and sober enough to care.  she kept enough of him to lose him.  she opened up enough to get hurt.  she was crazy enough to want to run into him.  she was scared enough to not be able to say a word if she did.  she knew him enough to feel like she lost a friend.  he got close enough for her to run away.  he held her long enough for it to be hard for her to let go.  he left enough memory for her to not be able to forget easily.  he had been thoughtful enough to make her smile.  he cared about her enough.  he didnt understand enough.  they were different enough so their paths wouldnt cross again.  enough is enough.